The facts are these: Daddoo is a full-blooded Chamorro, born in Tamuneng and raised in Barigåda and Mangilao; Le Mumz hails from an interesting blend of excommunicated Dutch immigrants, Scottish horse-thieves, Piikáni (Piegan Blackfoot), and Keetoowah (Old Cherokee Nation); I was born in Hagåtña while the Bruddha was born in Berlin, Germany; our family is insanely nomadic for reasons that have nothing to do with crime or witness protection and probably quite a bit more to do with commitment issues; I’m married to my best friend in the whole wide world, and; the Manimal and I are actually the tax-payers and food-can-openers for a highly spoiled and extraordinarily bossy furbaby.

Other than that… Here are a few random odds ‘n ends about Yours Truly:

  • I’m an herbalist.  And the more I learn about herbalism and modern medicine, the more afraid of the latter I become.  I’m no fool – it has its place (there’s no herbal cure for cancer, for example), but unless I have some serious illness, I won’t go to a doctor for anything.
  • I crush hardcore on Harry Drrobin-hoodesden, Nathan Drake, Geralt of Rivia, Isengrim Faoiltiarna (Iorveth in the games), Spike Spiegel, Uchiha Itachi, and Captain Malcolm Reynolds.  But at least they’re all humanoids – my first crush as a wee me was Disney’s Robin Hood.  As in the fox.
  • Until I find the perfect okonomiyaki (I’m partial to Osaka-style), my ultimate comfort food is miso ramen complete with bok choy, braised pork (chashu), seasoned boiled egg (ajitama), fish cake (kamaboko), wakame (seaweed), and scallions.
  • I almost burned my townhouse down trying to make cookies.  On wax paper.  Which I rationalized by telling myself that candles, which are wax, don’t burn, without ever pausing to consider that paper does.
  • I once gave myself horrific rug-burns playing tennis.  Naked.  Indoors.  Against a washing machine.
  • I am deathly afraid of spiders to the point of once calling Le Mumz from 460 miles away in the dead of night to ask whether she thought I would lose my security deposit if I kicked the screen off of my second-floor apartment window and lowered myself to the ground with a rope made of bedsheets to avoid a wolf spider that was blocking the front door downstairs.
  • I make up haiku poems about everything and spout them off at random.  Such as:  I like to make up / bad haiku about all things / you must deal with it.
  • As a kid, I got the idea in my head that grape juice and coffee combined were a lethal combination.  I then decided to practice this theory on the two male members of the family, convinced that an all-girl family would be a preferable living arrangement.  I put coffee in the Bruddha’s grape juice and grape juice in Daddoo’s coffee.  Luckily, they both survived.
  • mr-bubbleLe Mumz once found an entire closet full of Mr. Bubble bubble-bath bottles, all of which had approximately one-inch of liquid remaining.  The reason for this strange stash was due to the idea the Bruddha and I had that to empty a bottle of Mr. Bubble bubble-bath would result in the death of said Mr. Bubble.  She threw them all away in a fit of rage… to the accompaniment of two hysterical, screaming, wailing children, both of whom were convinced from that point on that they were locked in the house with an unrepentant murderess.
  • I diagram sentences in my head.  This often makes people think I’m not paying attention when they’re speaking – but I am… I just look away for a moment when I have to pause their sentences in my head to allow myself to spell a tricky word, work around an odd accent (the Southeastern US kills me in this regard), or restructure a poorly-formed sentence.
  • I think wasps and all of their nasty hornet-like brethren are made of scorpions, bloodthirsty rage, and nightmares.
  • The first summer when the Bruddha and I were left unsupervised as children (she went back to work part-time while Daddoo was working full time) was also the year she bought a Code-a-Phone with a speaker that allowed her to dial in with a code and hear within a certain range of the base.  He and I were alone, full-on fighting in the floor over which radio station to listen to on her fancy stereo system, when suddenly the phone rang.  We had strict instructions that we were never to answer the door and I was to answer the phone, so I picked up the receiver, and, without missing a beat, she said simply, “I do not know what you are doing to each other, but stop it right now!”  He and I spent the rest of the summer united in our goal to find the video cameras we were convinced she must have hidden throughout the house.  To this day, he will not have lighting fixtures in ceiling fans (where he was convinced they were all those years ago), and I will not have mirrors anywhere other than in bathrooms – and I close the doors to those bathrooms when I go to sleep… just in case.
  • I’m a bit of an animist, so I think all natural things are entities or “people” in and of themselves.  And I like all other people (animals, trees, rivers, seas, etc…) quite a bit more than human-people.
  • I love history – from ancient civilizations all the way up through the Edwardian period… after which my interest fizzles out.
  • bad-teaI’m an unrepentant tea snob.  The Manimal and I have a tea party every Saturday, sometimes English-style (complete with cucumber sandwiches, Regency-era white soup, and scones) and sometimes Japanese-style (sencha served with marinated shiitake, oysters, pickled vegetables, and strawberry daifuku).
  • I have Harry Potter parties every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I order pies and bangers from Parker’s, make grown-up Butterbeer, serve tea and cocoa, and the Manimal and our equally nerdy friends watch all of the Harry Potter extended editions (captured via DVR since they won’t release the bloody things for purchase for some purely commercial reason, I’m sure).